Why is it that each person naturally perceives himself as the center of the universe?
For the most part, after all, is it not our own point of view, or life experience, that we instinctively compare all others by? It happens so effortlessly. Most often we extend (or rescind) to others a little bit of warmth/chill based solely on their perceived alignment (or deviation) from our own point of view. Accept/avoid, embrace/balk, welcome/shun. Why is that? And has this natural, (self protective?) auto-response proven itself to be a satisfactory matrix through which to evaluate, and conduct one's social values and life?
Is it serving us well?
(I've pondered this topic in a previous Blog.)
For example, I could be doing 90 down the freeway, but if I get passed, I think, "I drive fine; but man, is he ever the reckless driver!" On the other hand, if I'm slowed down by someone who insists on "going the speed limit" while driving in the "passing lane," I mutter "Sunday driver!" as I swerve around that slow poke and leave him in the dust to frustrate others. Why is it so natural, and why does it come so easily, to attach relative value to another person's actions (or inaction's) based solely on one thing: "How would I, or ANY OTHER NORMAL PERSON, have reacted?"
We are perpetually presented with the variant, often seemingly idiotic, choices made by others. And we make a mental note. Sometimes the mental note is accompanied by openhearted approval; other times a menacing word or gesture is the response.
On a rare occasion we see or hear something "new," we think "Wow! That's brilliant! It never occurred to me to act or think that way! I'm going to change and adopt that new insight. From now on this is how we roll!" (Side note: Wasn't that the intended effect of all that political grand-standing on FB a few months back? And even now? BTW: Did ANYONE change their mind or vote as a result of that bombardment?)
Usually, and more frequently however, when confronted with thinking and behaviors which deviate from our own, we think: "Stupido! Why didn't it occur to him to think, act, or react just the way that I would have, Mr. Poop-For-Brains?..."
Has not this happened to us all? Depending upon the setting, and calibrated by our own personal perspective, people are relatively regarded to be either...
Speeders or Road Hogs
Totally Rad Trendsetters or just Wannabes
Adventurous Wildmen or Homely Couch Potatoes
Among the In Crowd or Clueless
Worthy of Admiration or Not worthy of Spit
Inspiring or Insipid
Helpful or Hopeless
Mensa's or Dunderheads etc.
I'm sure a flood of relatively brilliant examples have come to your own mind already without too much effort. (If you need prodding, just look or listen to the next person you see.) Why do we do that?
The interesting point to me is the relativity. Everyone draws the line a little differently. We observe, take notes, compare, assess, then judge from our personal perspective. (We are, after all, the Center of the Universe!)
For example, your average mass murderer probably couldn't help himself from assessing his peers. (Disclaimer: This I suspect, not that I personally know any such ones.) On the relative basis of his thoughts and/or experience alone, he might well be thinking, "Man, how does that guy do it? He's my idol. I wonder if he's teaching a class anywhere? I'd take it!"
Or rather, if his peer didn't quite measure up, he might well be thinking, "Sloppy work, Mr. Amateur-night. He's bound to get caught. If I ever meet him, I'd "off" him myself just do everybody a big favor. It's guys like him that give us true 'hobbyists' a bad rap..."
"And while I'm at it: Hey you, Mr. Slow-Poke! Stay outta MY lane, too!"
I don't know where I am going with this, but that's all I have right now. So if you, dear Blog reader, were to collaborate, where might the perusal of this quandary go?
Why are we so profoundly wired to be judgmental?
And by this behavior are we serving ourselves well?
3 comments:
Perhaps, there is a higher way?
You've got quite a few questions here, don't you? Formulating a response could require a comment as long as your post. A daunting task to your potential commenters no doubt. Where to begin? Do I talk about culture and society, or survival and genetics? I shall breeze over the first twelve questions to hone in on the last two, just to get something out and not spend another 10 minutes looking at all the different ways to approach such a host of questions.
Why are we so profoundly wired to be judgmental? The answer is surely complex and multifaceted, but I'm glad you touched on being profoundly wired to be this way instead of just being this way. I would propose this is a common mentality to fall into because of the way our brains are wired to function and process the world around us. We define one thing by comparing it's atributes to other things. Our brains recognize patterns and compare those patterns to the ones we have stored to decide how to describe those patterns to us. When we assume our way is the best way, and then encounter someone who is not going 'our way' then the pattern comparison functions in our brain tell us instinctively to question or disregard that person, and if we chose to obey that instinct, judgement has been issued. I think the heart of the judgement dilemma lies in the mentality of believing our way is the way, and the inability to disregard certain judgmental assessments of our brain.
If wellbeing and peace of mind for you and your fellow human companions is a priority then I would say, there are higher ways. Beginning with the mentality of my way is the way. Thats gotta go. But even when you adopt a more accepting mentality of other ways, your brain will continue to present you with instinctual judgements, as it has been formed to do over the years. This is when you harness the power of the veto to filter out the thoughts that arise subconsciously that in the end are not profitable to hold on to. Controlling your mind some would say.
I am personally finding the road of acceptance and non-reaction to be of much greater personal and social benefit. It's nicer to learn than to scorn, for all parties.
Pull quote--I am personally finding the road of acceptance and non-reaction to be of much greater personal and social benefit. It's nicer to learn than to scorn, for all parties.
Well put. Chris J.
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