As a young pregnant mom, my grandma eased into the day, still in her bathrobe. Esther, her second daughter, was down the street at a skating party at the church. A distress call came in reporting that Esther had been hit by a car and was on the way to the hospital. Grandpa went directly to the hospital, but Grandma, who could not go outside in her bathrobe, stayed home to get dressed. By the time she got to the hospital it was too late. She never got to see her daughter alive again. Grandma never talked to me about it, but it is reported that after that, no one ever saw her less than completely dressed when she started her day. I believe Esther was 6 years old....
I went in halfsies on my first surfboard when I was in jr. high. My parents disapproved, feeling that it was too dangerous, but they allowed it. One summer day to back up her case, Mom showed me an article in the paper about a 13 year old kid who drowned while surfing at the Huntington Beach pier. I scoffed as I began to read the account.... Wait a minute! I know this guy. Wayne! He was a classmate of mine, and a really good guy. I only half-heartedly embraced surfing thereafter, and to this day I have never ventured out into the waters at the HB pier....
Theoretically, nothing wrong with Grandma's routine, nothing wrong with the waves at the HB pier, nothing wrong with that stretch of roadway. But for those who have experienced personal traumatic loss along the way, some things will forever be tarnished. Most people will not understand. Associated smells, sights, seasons, mere mentions, second-guessings can re-trigger crippling emotional grief and unleash seemingly insurmountable sorrow.
There was one who was reportedly acquainted with our sorrows and griefs. We can turn to him to begin finding traction, or we can tough it out, bear the pain, and hope to avoid any triggers....
Trauma comes in many forms. I have know people who have unexpectedly lost a child, lost a husband, lost a wife, lost both parents. Lost their innocence, lost their faith, lost touch with reality, lost their will to live. No doubt, trauma taints and distorts much of our daily experience. We all seek understanding and rest.
